Entry #1 - Let's Do It!

First off, let me just say that I think blogging is for Nerds. It amazes me that so many people have enough time to not only live their lives, but then go home and write about it so that other people who also have lots of free time can read about how they like their tuna fish sandwich (incidentally I like mine plain – NO CELERY!) I don’t read anyone else’s blog, I probably won’t even read mine. That being said, welcome to my blog! I hope I didn’t scare you away, I’m not a bitter guy, I just have a lot of anger and resentment towards the world and the people and things around me. I kid. Let me tell you a little about the real Noah Starr.

I decided to base the name of my blog on a bit I used to do with my friends in Drama school. After seeing a play I didn’t like I would replace words in the title with the word ‘crap’. For example: Crap on a Hot Tin Roof, Cat on a Hot Tin Crap, Cat on a Crap Crap Roof, and of course Crap on a Hot Tin Crap. Brilliant!

Now, dear reader, let me tell you a little about myself. I grew up in Camden, ME – a place that I love dearly, and am very proud to call my home. I studied Theatre at Boston University and like going back to Boston whenever I have a chance. I now live in Brooklyn with my girlfriend and my buddy Mateo. Most of my buds moved here when we graduated. Some went to LA but they are currently dead to me or in critical condition bordering on dead to me. Except Sean-Michael and Rich, they’re my heroes. My Dad’s a child psychologist and my Mom’s a fourth grade teacher. They are both amazing, loving people and mean a lot to me. My sister is a businesswoman and her husband is an Actuary. They are both super important to me too and take really good care of me. Two of my grandparents live in Camden and are pretty much the greatest people on earth. My Grandpa tells crazy stories and my Grandma is really funny and makes great desserts – that’s a winning combination. I have an awesome girlfriend who I love like gang busters, and anyone will tell you, I am way into what ever the hell gang busters are. Here is a quick list of adjectives that describe her.

Beautiful
Funny
Smart
Sexy
Silly
Kind
Put-together
Down to earth

I could go on and on, but this is starting to sound like a sales pitch and I kind of want to keep her to myself. If anyone is reading this and is interested in her, I should probably add that she suffers from bouts of murderous rage and that she’s also a cannibal. So back off!

I’m a comedy writer and performer. I’ve written for film, lit. magazines, ad campaigns, sketch shows, etc. I’ve done some bit parts on TV and film and been in lots of plays and comedy shows. I don’t love living in NYC but its sort of a necessary evil. Here is a list of things that I DO like:

My family
My girlfriend
My friends
Maine
Nintendo
Jackie Chan
Cooking
Finland
The Office (BBC)
Fencing
Partying
24
Sleeping
Eating food
Communism
(not really, but I’m interested to see if this blog ends up on a government watch list)
The Simpsons
Computers
Hiking

Wow! Everyone should read this blog, because I’m not like anyone else! Who else can list eating food AND their family as things they like. I’m different-da (Baron)!

This is oddly freeing – it just kind of feels good to be writing for pleasure and not for business. Is this the most pleasure I have ever felt? No.

Here’s my thoughts on blogs, get ready to have your mind blown out of the back of your mother-f*cking head (my blog is PG-13 sorry twelve year olds!) I often wonder why they are called blogs in the first place. I know it’s short for web log, but that’s two separate words and they’re inappropriately linked! I’ve never heard of anything else abbreviated in the way that the word blog is. By this strange blog logic (blogic), Southern Comfort shouldn’t be called SoCo, but Ncom, high fidelity would go from HiFi to Hfid, and finally, the area South of Houston St. should be changed from SoHo to Hofhou – and isn’t that catchy? It really 'bloggles’ my mind! Hey-oh!

Quick question, are these blogs supposed to be funny? Cause then maybe I should start over.

It’s now two AM and I should get into bed. Baron, Josh, and Jen and I just came back from doing a show at Moravian College in PA. It was fun. Moravian is a small catholic college, and I started with jokes about sex. It was pretty much twelve shades of awkward, but lesson learned! I’m an improviser and loved doing bits with the audience. I’m learning a ton about stand up from two guys who’ve been doing it for a while. I’m so tired, but now I kind of want a tuna fish sandwich if it has celery in it someone’s gonna loose a eye.

Much love, keep the faith, peace out, word to your momma, word up, and just plain word, see ya later, hope you are well, good night.

- Noah Starr (Hsta for short)